Betapa banyak pun bahan yang kita baca, siapa pun idola kita, pegangan mana yang kita percaya, contoh apa yang kita mahu ikuti dan duplikasi, teorinya takkan sama dengan apa yang kita hadapi. Hidup kita semua berbeza-beza.
"In theory, theory and practise are both the same.
In pratice, they are not."
Keadaan, persekitaran, tekanan, ini semua pemboleh ubah yang memanipulasi. Ini akan merubah semuanya. Jadi, satu-satu teori atau penulisan sesiapa pun, tak boleh 100% terguna pakai dalam hidup seseorang.
A bagi contoh untuk buat begini begini. B kata jangan buat begitu begini. Kita? Baca, tutup mata, ambil mana mahu dan amal mana mampu. Tidak dapat tidak semua, sipi-sipinya ada.
Setiap orang ada alasan tersendiri mengapa satu-satu keputusan diambil. Jangan persoalkan hidup seseorang.
Dalam hidup, bercelaru tu biasa. Ada masa hidup kita tenang tiada ombak. Lain masa hidup kita terumbang-ambing tak tahu punca. Masa inilah masa terbaik untuk lihat di sekeliling, perhati semua sisi dan cari punca penyebab semuanya terjadi.
Boleh jadi pada papan tanda jalan raya ada petunjuknya. Boleh jadi pada kakak kaunter tol terletak klu teka silang kata. Boleh jadi pada bait-bait lagu buskers jalanan, ada jawapannya.
Begitulah. Kadang-kadang Tuhan bagi petunjuk bukanlah secara langsung. Yang tak terjangka itulah yang paling indah. Untuk itu, ada susup-sasap semak yang perlu kita redah. Biasa, di situ letaknya alamat yang paling berharga.
Tuhan datangkan ibu bapa sebagai pinjaman. Di situ letaknya keberkatan. Doa mereka, kata-kata semangat dari mereka punya magis paling power di dunia. Mereka tahu apa yang terbaik buat kita. Mereka ahli silap mata yang terunggul buat semua. Ah rindu.
Dalam office,
Afiqah
Dah boleh kahwin dah
Aku tak pernah nak tulis pasal cinta atau kahwin. Bukan aku. Tapi benda ni dah lama stuck dalam kepala. Jadi aku kena muntahkan malam ni.
Dalam bab cinta dan perkahwinan, be realistic.
Jangan sebab angau, cemburu tengok kawan-kawan semua dah kahwin, kau jadi tergopoh-gapah nak kahwin dan takut bujang, tak kahwin sampai mati.
Percaya atau tidak, hari-hari aku kena hadap dan tadahkan telinga untuk dengar dan support ibu-ibu tunggal. Cukup sekadar mereka tahu ada seseorang mendengar lalu tak mudah putus asa (aku pun tak tahu kenapa mereka percaya pada aku).
Dengan masalah kewangan, stress kerja, balik nak hadap kerenah anak-anak, tak ada tempat bergantung, dengan masalah displin anak-anak, kau tengok saja apa kesan penceraian ni terpalit pada anak-anak.
Ada kes seorang anak lelaki selalu terbabit dengan masalah displin di sekolah. Banyak kali kena gantung sekolah. Ada kes juga anak lelakinya suka memakai baju-baju perempuan. Ada kes anak sekolah rendah dah pandai mengintai orang mandi.
Macam-macam hal. Semua berpunca dari keretakan rumah tangga. Jangan lupa yang anak-anak ni kuat memerhati, cepat terpengaruh dan susah untuk lupa.
Lepas beberapa cerita tentang perkahwinan, dengan kisah sekeliling yang penuh dengan penceraian, pada aku kahwin bukan sekadar hanya untuk menamatkan masa bujang. Kahwin bukan untuk sehari. Kahwin bukan kerana trend. Kahwin bukan kerana desakan keluarga atau bisik-bisik kepoci jiran tetangga.
Jangan sebabkan nak kahwin, main sambar saja siapa depan mata.
Bab perkahwinan, bukan hanya pada jumlah hantaran saja yang kau perlu risaukan. Ada sesuatu jauh lebih besar dari itu. Fikir jauh ke depan. Sebab kahwin merupakan himpunan duka tawa senyum ceria dan masam mencuka. Bukan hanya seronok semata. Bagaimana nak survive berdua sehingga ke akhirnya.
Okay la sebelum melalut, cukup sampai di sini saja. Orang belum kahwin tak boleh tulis pasal kahwin. Kahwin dulu, 20 tahun ke atas usia perkahwinan, baru boleh sembang kencang bagi tips.
Eid adha
Terlalu banyak pengorbanan yang kita dah lakukan terutamanya dalam menjaga hati dan perasaan orang lain. Terbakar diri kita untuk kesenangan orang lain.
Banyak perihal dunia yang telah pun kita tinggalkan demi kesenangan akhirat. Setiap pengorbanan ini tampak mudah. But it takes a lot of courage to sacrifise many things.
Bulatkan hati, terus berkorban dan pandang ke depan. Salam Raya Haji 2017.
Make Yourself Better
Well no matter how great we are, there is always someone who is not satisfied with it and there is always someone pointing fingers at you.
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This is life. Come on. If other people keep telling you whatever yang kau tak suka but it's make yourself better so why not? See if it was reasonable for them to have done what they did.
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If they were right and you were insensitive, accept it and apologize. There’s nothing shameful in accepting a mistake. It won’t make you a smaller person.
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If things work out, you’ll end up feeling like a bigger person when things are sorted out. Kalaulah orang kutuk benda yang kau rasa tak perlu dikutuk pun, now you know there's nothing wrong with you but something wrong with them.
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It’s not worth fighting with such people. It’s not easy to just let somebody put you down. Don’t take it if you think the person is not worth it.
Hati
Minta tuhan tetapkan hati, tetapkan pendirian. Hati manusia berubah-rubah.
Contoh, memula cakap nak makan nasi dengan sup. 20 secs later, eh tak jadi! Nak makan laksa la. Dah sampai kedai, eh cancel la teringin nak makan roti je. Hahaha over kan contoh. Ala lapar dah.
Kalau kita takut orang berubah perasaan towards kita, ingat la ok; yang pegang hati manusia ni bukan kita. Tapi, tuhan. Sebab tu hati kita boleh bolak-balik. Kejap buat baik kejap buat tak baik sikit. Haaaaaa
Dan awak takde kuasa nak control hati orang, perasaan orang. Kalau dah boleh control uish oppa oppa korean yang hensem semua minat aku hahahhahaha
Jadi, doa. Minta la dekat Dia. Mengadu la. Dan Dia takkan pernah bagi yg tak baik buat kita. Kalau awak rasa benda tu tak baik buat awak, sebenarnya benda tu secretly give benefits to you. And awak akan belajar drpd kesilapan kan? Smile la, dont be sad over small thing
He gives what you need. And hardships cuma untuk orang yang power. Hang power kot? Sebab tu lah tuhan uji. May Allah bless!
Go Ape
Pagi ni baru aku faham maksud dia.
Yang kesedihan ni ada banyak jenis. Sedih kena khianat, sedih gagal exam, sedih putus cinta. Macam-macam. Dan kesedihan yang bersangkut-paut dengan memburukkan orang lain, seeloknya jangan luahkan dekat sosial media. Bukan semua orang tahu pun cerita sebenar. Tak pasal-pasal orang buruk sangka pada pihak satu lagi.
Padahal diri kita pun ada salahnya juga. I've been there and i know exactly how it feels like.
Kadang aku terlepas juga mengaduh dekat sini. Cuma kesedihan aku, kau takkan nampak direct. Kongsi quote ke, prosa merapu ke, cerpen merapu ke. Kaitkan dengan kisah harian ke. Ada kalis. Berkias. Memang ada masa kita jadi tak rasional. Laju je tangan nak upload semua benda. Pandai-pandai la kawal.
Sifat manusia memang suka bercerita. Nak meluahkan. Nak cari yang bagi nasihat. Yang kongsi kata-kata perangsang. Tak kurang juga yang doakan kita di laman sosial. Jangan pertikai doa dekat laman sosial ni. Semua benda nak dipertikai sampai nak ambil alih tugas Tuhan pun tak boleh jugak. Luah boleh tapi jangan sampai memburukkan orang lain. Sedar yang kita pun ada salahnya.
Benda jadi kompleks sebab manusia ni memang penuh dengan bersangka-sangka. Dan setiap dari kita berbeza-beza penerimaannya.
Macam kau cerita A, dia sangka B. Kau selalu buat lawak bodoh, dia ingat betul-betul kau bodoh in real life. Kau selalu tulis benda-benda serius, dia ingat memanjang la kau ni serius. Padahal tak pun. Haa macam tu la.
I am me
"How you seem to others and how you actually are, it is RARELY match. What other people think of you will rarely contain the whole truth."
Which is - fine by me.
I admit that sometimes i love to do stupid things. I posted stupid things on my fb. I watched fugly videos. Stick with my phone for hours looking at those make up live, teased people and laughed a lot. But who cares anyway?
Are you that serious 24/7? Your life must be boring then.
This is Afiqah and I'm doing things my way.
If you have set some expectations on me, please get rid of it. I don't live up to someone's expectations. I am not trying to be good or to have that better qualities as what you predicted or hoped for.I am just trying to be a better me, day by day, bit by bit.
I am no more better than a decent homosapien and not obligated to live up to everyone’s expectations.I do things because i care. Sometimes i do what i know it's the right thing to do. I share things because i love to share. It's in my blood. I am not doing things because everyone else expects me to do so.
Most of the time, i don't need others to hold my hand every step of the way. I go alone sometimes. That is why i'm here in this big city alone with no one by my side. I usually willing to go alone. And i don’t need anyone's permission to grow.
I am not perfect. Yes, i messed up sometimes. I did a lot, i mean, countless mistakes. I plan but life didn’t go as what i planned, and that’s okay. Truth be told, the unexpected is often better than the expected.I get to learn from my past. I learn from my mistakes. I improve myself. I decide how i'm going to learn along the way.
That was just how Howard Schultz did back then. He didn't give up after being turned down by banks more than 200 times. He moved forward. And now, starbucks are all over the world. Same goes to Walt Disnes with his Disney World. And all famous J. K. Rowling with Harry Potter.
So while i'm out there making decisions and mistakes, i'm pretty sure there are others who are striving for greatness too. And please bear in your mind - they are just like me.
We are not that drop-dead-serious-all-the-time.
My individuality can be openly celebrated and enjoyed with all of you. But i don't constantly seek for approval to do things because it steals the fun of life anyway.
Why we stay quiet about our pain
Some people just want to keep their pain to themselves and one of the reason to do so is because they don;t want to depress other people. Specially when the other people cannot even fix the problem its mean to share your pain and depress the as well. This being said, the world tries to ignore your pain because deep inside your pain depresses them as well and they don't want to feel depressed so they just turn you down out of selfishness or because maybe they are silently suffering and can't afford to be even more depressed by your pain.
Like when people ask you how you are, you just say fine because you know they really don't care and don't want to bore them. Wonderfully sad right? There are few who really understand almost are the one who have gone through pains like yours. But the majority do not understand. To deal with it alone is a pain and to share with someone also a pain as this is how other people respond to our pain.
Always be yourself
Always be yourself. We live in a world that wants us to be all the same. A world that wants us to hide parts of our identities. A world that wants to convince us that our inability to move on from what happened to us means that something is fundamentally wrong with us.
A world that wants us to pretend that everything is okay, because as long as we keep quiet about it, then that means that it will go away. But what they don't see is that if it's important to us, then it's important to the world because our stories shape the world to be the way that it is. And if we don;t talk about things that matter, our world will not change and it will continue to become worse and worse for us and for the future generations.
So if your story is important to you then talk about it. If your story means something to you, give yourself a voice. You don't need to define yourself or your worthy by what others think of you, of your voice, or your story.
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